Can we title the odd characteristics of the middle child as Psychological syndrome? We have to still doubt that it is really a syndrome. Although it is not recognized as a psychological disorder, particularly we start discussing it as psychological symptoms.
The middle children have different behaviors from their siblings like the elder one or the younger one. The firstborn or the eldest one can always be regarded as the one who gets the most belief, favors, support and love from the family. Also the youngest one can be seen as a child who gets protection, kindness and warmth from the family. Most say that the middle one does not get the favours like the firstborn or the lastborn.
The middle ones are also considered as the negative ones, less confident child, the jealous child or the introverted. Moreover they are also said to have particular characteristics and personalities. Such a saying is not totally correct.
Like that, it is not true that every middle child suffers middle child syndrome. This is because of the two key reasons that can cause middle child syndrome.
The first reason is the surroundings and society discriminate and pay attention to the birth order. We are always hearing the sayings “The parents cannot focus on raising and supporting the child since he/she is the middle child. Parents and elders should notice that when we say such things in front of an immature young child, it can cause sadness and insecurity in his/her mind. Therefore elders should reflect and be cautious of saying things like that.
The second reason is the lack of support from the family. Normally parents give all their support and love to the firstborn child but the middle child does not get enough support from parents and relatives. This may be because of the chores of the youngest child or may be parents getting tired since they have given all their effort to the firstborn. These can be the struggles for the middle kid.
The middle child can consider that he/she is excluded or ignored in the family.Also he/she can feel that their parents do not love them like other siblings. They become overshadowed or quiet since the family does not listen to their voices, feelings and requests. Moreover they will never speak out their feelings because of the above reason.
They will have low confidence and can feel as if they are not worthy of being in a valuable relationship. They become pessimistic and easily aggressive. When they were young, they showed aggressiveness and were mad at small issues.
In adolescence and adult stage, we can see middle child syndrome symptoms such as they have unstable mental situations, they feel extremely in everything, less friends and colleagues, they always doubt relationships and finally they can feel lonely and have mental disorders. Among family members, it can be seen that middle kids are competitive, jealous and aggressive to other siblings.
So what should we do and care for our middle children to live happily and grow up?
-Be aware of the feelings of your middle child as soon as possible. The earlier you notice that, the earlier you can support your child mentally and physically.
-Be patient. Even if your middle child is not active, clever, and cold , don’t neglect your child.Give him/her more time. Listen to his/her voices, feeling. Play together with him/her. Walk together. Do home chores together. Help with his/her homework.
-Treat equally to all of your children. Discrimination and inequility between your children can destroy your family happiness.
-Help and treat him/her kindly and warmly so that he/she can feel that they are also a valuable family member. Deal with your kid respectfully. If so he can cure the feeling of suffering himself/herself as a neglected kid.
-Give time and create the free space to talk with you and the kid to listen to and share his/her challenges, problems, success and pleasure.
-Empathize your kid’s situation.
-Listen to his/her own voices. They also have the right to express their imaginations, ambitions and feelings. Respect their voices.
-Do not compare your middle child with others. Every kid has its own ability and all are valuable. The capability of children can lower when they are being compared. It can worsen the sibling relationship.
-Help in figuring out their strength. Help to make him/her feel that he/she is essential and unique by regarding their strength and ability. Encourage and support in choosing and finding their passion and hobbies.
-Avoid blaming them. Blaming can loosen their confidence and make them a messing, pessimistic and naughty child. Even when he/she makes a mistake, you should point out reasonably instead of blaming him/her.
-Teach and guide them to ask help openly when they need it. Treat them that family is always around them when they face troubles.
-Congratulate and encourage the works they have done.
The above are the facts that can prevent middle children from suffering loneliness and mental weakness. We wish all the families could pass through all the struggles and difficulties happily.
Content writer- KKK (Psychologist)